1817-Movement

For the Twins, Khan and Quan Evans, donating to the homeless is about more than just giving to others; it's about helping your own. Influenced by their past experience with serving the homeless, which resulted in uniting with a family member for the first time, the twins are determined to bring resources, encouragement, and community-bonding to the homeless, again.

A few years ago, the twins, their mother, and fellow church members volunteered to go to Lancaster Ave. in Fort Worth and pass out plates of spaghetti to the homeless. While there, they talked to, prayed with, and fed the homeless. As they were interacting with those in attendance, the twins' mother noticed a familiar face in the crowd. She grabbed her two boys and led them to the man who caught her attention. It was then that Khan and Quan were first introduced to their maternal great, great grandpa.

Up until this point, neither Khan and Quan,  nor their great, great grandpa knew the other existed. As you can imagine, they were all shocked; not so much at the circumstances but at the immediate outcome of “giving back.” Had Khan and Quan not set out to serve their community, they would have never been presented with the opportunity to develop a relationship with their great, great grandpa.

Most of you may be familiar with Khan and Quan from their 2002 appearance on Apollo, or for their contribution to Fort Worth’s rap industry as the Hardhead Twinz. Instead of allowing their growing popularity and fame to distance them from their community, Khan and Quan are using it as a platform to bring recognition, resources, and reunification to the exact place that has, for years, molded and supported their talent.

Growing up as African Americans in the inner city, the twins are well aware that homelessness isn’t as distant as one would hope it to be. As of this month, 1 in 5 U.S. adults now live in households either in poverty or on the cusp of poverty (Financial Times). Even more horrifying is that chronic homelessness in Tarrant County has increased by 60 percent since 2013 (Star-Telegram). More than 2,000 people are homeless in Tarrant County at any given time, and 1 in 5 out of this population is a child (DRC Solutions). Homelessness is our epidemic!

Freighting, but real statics like these along with the fact the homeless are far from strangers, rather they are our family members, are the reasons Khan and Quan are taking action. As up-and-coming artists, the twins know what it’s like to need support. Fortunately, they also acknowledge the trade off of giving support in order to receive it. How can one expect their city to promote them if they have forgotten where they came from? One cannot grow without nourishing their roots, right?

Therefore, on December 23^rd from 12-3pm, Khan and Quan are gathering all entertainers, artists, hairstylists, barbers, and all of the other self-proclaimed faces of Fort Worth to go to Lancaster Ave. and pray for, donate to, and encourage the homeless. The twins are asking people to come out and show their support, and/or donate blankets, pillows, and canned goods. (Please bring your donations with you on the 23^rd Between 12 and 3pm).

The exact location will be made available in the next few days.

You never know whose life you will impact, or who will become a part of your life until you join the 1817 Movement!

Those who have already committed to giving back include, but are not limited to: Cap-Innovation Autos, GetMoneyLilRonnie, Go Yayo #HoodFame, AceBee, Run C, NeNe-SheCook!, Nola-Beautiful Designs, Oh Boy Prince, Kataztrofee, Miah Ross, Kalessia Wallace #BookTheDiva, and Demarcus Williams-PurpleVizionPhotography.

“Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.” –Muhammad Ali

She's Got His Heart

10 years ago, two teens almost lost their lives. Instead of giving up, they came together and gave each other what one was lacking

My cousin was only 17-years old when she was told she needed a heart transplant. At this time in your life, your biggest fear is being told you're short too many credits to graduate, not "you're life may be cut short." Even though I was one of the people staying the night at the hospital with her and witnessed the process, I can't effectively or accurately relay to you what she was going through. Words can't capture that kind of pain and fear. Nor should they try, as that would just reduce both her hurt and her strength to mere sentences and I think she's owed much more than that.

By the time the hospital found a donor, my cousin didn't want the heart anymore. She had only been released for a few days before they called her back and told her they found a donor. To everyone else, this phone call was nothing short of a miracle. Our prayers had been answered. But my cousin was initially reluctant. Can you blame her though? What 17 year old would want to keep going back to the hospital? Isn't spending your homecoming, thanksgiving, and birthday, in there enough? For a kid, the hospital is a robotic torture camp. It drains you before it fixes you. Once you leave, you never want to go back. Even if it's your last chance.

I think it goes without saying that her mom drug her butt up there and made her get that heart transplant.

Over the years my cousin was able to discover more about her donor and his family. Thanks to technology, both my cousin and my aunt have been able to communicate with his family via social media. As a result, my aunt was able to plan an amazing celebration for my cousin's 10th year anniversary, in which her donor's mother and sister attended.

Seeing them there made me realize that the heart didn't just keep my cousin alive, in a way it kept their son/brother alive too. At the request, of my cousin I have vowed to be an organ donor. I want to be able to do for someone else's family what this young man did for mine. However, I overlooked a critical benefit of begin an organ donor.

Donating your organs means your family doesn't have to lose their loved one either. Donating your organs allows you to give a life and preserve your life at the same time. Donating your organs gives your family the opportunity to keep watching you grow. Donating your organs makes mourning a little bit easier when families know their child has decided to stay around longer just to do the work of a hero. Because this young man donated his heart, neither one of our families has had to say goodbye. His heart has never stopped beating, he has yet to stop living, and he could never possibly be forgotten.

Please, donate your organs. We all deserve to live a little longer.

Segregation Won't Result in Unity

Yesterday, I read an article written in response to the hate crime that occurred at Harvard Law School. The article was written by a student of Harvard, hence the title, "This Morning at Harvard Law School We Woke up to a Hate Crime." The piece was well-written, as it described the occurrence without bias, and related it to broader issues.

To summarize the act, Harvard has a hallway lined with portraits of every tenured professor in the history of the university. Sometime between the night of November 18th and the morning of November 19th, the portraits of black professors were defaced. A single piece of black tape was placed over the face of every black professor's portrait. The author, Michele Hall wrote, "their faces were slashed through, X-ing them out, marking them as maybe unwanted or maybe unworthy or maybe simply too antithetical to the legacy of white supremacy on which Harvard Law School has been built." She then goes on to say that the legacy of white supremacy "drips from every corner of the campus," but yet, they [black students] are not afraid.

Her words are powerful, emotional, but relatable and accurate. Because her writing had traces of her feeling personally attacked, I predicted the comments would, too, attack her. Usually, when we read pieces reporting a crime the author distances themselves and objectifies the situation. Hall did not do this, and I'm glad she didn't. As a black student at Harvard, she does have a direct connection to the crime and should be able to voice her hurt in a rational way.

After completing the article I went on to read the comments. At the time I joined in there was nothing outright inappropriate being said. A little controversy, but nothing blatantly disrespectful (I don't know about now though). As assumed, people did criticize her approach to the "crime." One person said that she shouldn't label it a hate crime until it is proved to be such, and another commentator advised her not to assume a white person committed the crime.

Another commentator, whom I am most interested in, responded to Hall's concluding remarks, "This morning at Harvard Law School we woke up to a hate crime. And what we do next will shake will supremacy at Harvard Law School to its core," with the suggestion that black students "exclusively attend Historically Black Institutions."

Although this comment was made with good intentions, I couldn't help but to find it to be one of the most damaging. I understand the call for unity and nationalism, but I can't stand by the plea for segregation. That's what we've been fighting against this whole time, isn't it? Do we really want to re-visit this notion of separate, but equal?  Suggesting that we just "stick together" moves us away from victory, not closer to it.

Isolating ourselves won't solve the problem, it will just make it easier for us not to be a problem.

We must remember that racism is now more pervasive at the macro level, than at mirco level. It has become structuralized, rather than just individualized. Yes, some people are just  racist, but institutions and ideologies had a strong hand in teaching them to be that way. We have to fight against the institutions, and let the change trickle down.

Also, by secluding ourselves we will only be able to appeal to advocate amongst each other. It is imperative that our conversations take place amongst a diverse group of people. We need to hear other voices, consider the advice of other people. What fruitful conversation can you have with people who all hold your same opinion? Yes, you'll move in unison, but will your methods be absolutely effective?

Like Hall said, we need to shake white supremacy to its core, that way we will have the choice to attend whatever institution we want and be valued, respected, and educated equally. Unity is not segregated, and neither should we be.

Be a Threat

At point in middle school my friend and I were asked to step outside of the classroom and speak privately with the teacher. She wanted to discuss our attire. It was close to the end of the school year and it was hot. More than once we made the choice to dress like twins. On this day we decided to wear shorts and a t-shirt tucked in the front (that was the style). As the teacher told us that our shorts were too short because they didn't exactly touch our finger tips when we stood with our hands to our sides, I watched a another--slimmer--girl walk past in the same shorts. The teacher said nothing. 

We sat in detention for hours, waiting for our parents to bring us a pair of pants. Our parents, like most, had jobs. They had to leave work, go home for clothes, and then come to the school. By that time they arrived, we had missed multiple lessons. A waste of a school day. This was one of the many times I was asked to leave the classroom because I was a distraction. For far too long I believed it. 

Another time a teacher wrote me a referral and told me to leave because me talking was distracting the other students. I told her no. I was tired of being sent out just because I was bored. I politely asked her to give me more work or to just leave me alone. This infuriated her and instead of receiving a simple referral, my parents were, again, asked to leave work and come up to the school. Because the principle, like most of my teachers, hadn't taken the chance to get to know me he was ill prepared for the meeting. He expected to pull up a file full of bad grades that matched the complaints of distracting behavior. Instead he found straight As and high test scores. He said he didn't understand, I told him it was simple, I'm bored! He said my talking back was one of my biggest problems. My parents took over from there and I never had a problem with that principle again.

Later, my mother told me "you're smarter than you know J.J, and that makes you a threat." Always having been under the impression that smart people were desired, I couldn't understand how that could make me  a threat. For the rest of my school career I tried not to "threaten" my teachers. Confused by my mom calling me a threat while my teachers articulated it as a distraction, I just tried to stay out of the way. I applied myself in school and when I wasn't begin challenged I found other activities for me to put my energy into. 

It wasn't until I entered grad school that I came to realize who was really distracting who. Being accepted into a PhD program fully funded for up to seven years, at the time, was the biggest accomplishment of my life. It was a dream come true. I knew at an early age that I wanted to be a professional student, and I had made it happen. I was looking forwarded to being immersed in knowledge, researching my area of interest, and finding a means to contribute to our society. I was in for a surprise. 

I got to take classes, learn new things, and do my research, but under a lot of constraints and stipulations. I had to take required courses, which is normal, but none of the courses offered every fit my areas of interest or my background. I was also asked to engage in a lot of services. Services such as, attending reading groups, meetings, being in pictures to show diversity, hoisting visiting African American professors, writing letters to advocate for hiring a professor of color you know since I'm a student of color and all. After three years of this I had only met one person that could be used as a resource for my research and took 3 classes relevant to my area of interest. I had not advanced, however, my department looked like it was advancing because their token black student presented them with a face. A nice face, I might add : ) 

My whole life my body and my brain have been too developed for the spaces I occupy and for that reason I have been reduced to a distraction. But in all reality I am not the distraction. By making me sit in detention for hours because my shorts are short I AM being distracted from my education. Making me leave class because I can't sit still after fishing my work 30 minutes early, distracts ME from aiming higher. By focusing on my race and making me a mascot, rather than supplementing my research, I AM being distracted from all of the immaculate things my brain is capable of doing. 

Now let's look at the bigger picture. When children protesting for the right to pursue their education without the distraction of racism are asked to be evacuated, INSTEAD of the people making death threats against them, we are being DISTRACTED. When we have young minority men stealing to survive because they are long time victims of institutionalized racism but the police officers that are mudering them are walking around free because they were just protecting THEMSELVES, we are being DISTRACTED. When there are a plethora of illegal European immigrants in the United States that hold elite jobs, but thousands of people protesting against Mexican immigrants, we are being DISTRACTED. When we think it is ok to ask a woman what she wore or what she did to be raped, we are being DISTRACTED. 

The problem is that we are confusing what it means to be a threat with what it is to be a distraction. A threat is "a statement of intention to inflict pain, injury, damage, or other hostile action on someone in retribution for something done or not done." A distraction is, a thing that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else." 

Be A THREAT

Be a statement that let's people know you are not satisfied with ever getting less that you deserve. Intentional inflict injury and damage to the ideologies, policies, and rules that are preventing you from reaching your full potential. Be hostile about the fact that you're still not being respected or perceived as an equal.

Don't be a distraction. Don't be a detour for the real issues we need to face. 

Be a threat. 

Wanna see me kiss a girl?

You clicked on this link because you were interested in me kissing a girl, but you probably turned the channel when Love and Hip Hop's Miles was about to kiss his boyfriend Milan. SHAME ON YOU!

Recent scholarship in American TV studies has shown that television programs have failed to explore and demonstrate the dynamics of two particular characters, one of them being homosexuals. Julie D'Acci's "Television, Representation, and Gender" conceives television as a "technology, and as a social, economic, cultural, and ideological institution" (373).  D'Acci goes on to argue that "television's schedule, its information, and its stories have active roles in shaping the ways TV viewers think about themselves and feel about themselves in their world" (373). Meaning, television not only produces images and sounds, but it produces citizens. TV is a common and popular medium that informs the ways in which we act, think, and treat other people.

Up until recently television shows have refused to display homosexual relationships. Now, we have a couple of hit shows--Modern Family, Empire, Glee--that thrive on their homosexual co-stars, however, it is important to note that rarely ever is a homosexual the protagonist in a show and their lives, especially not their love lives, are not explored in depth. It is nice that homosexuals are on screen now, but we're still not getting to know them. Their characters are always supportive other their heterosexual friend's relationships--especially during breakups--but what about their own relationships. Why don't we get to hear their intimate conversations, experience their fights, watch their kissing scenes (well we do if it's two girls smh). My point is, by censoring homosexual relationships we are giving the impression that 1) they don't exist and 2) they're not ok.

That is until Love and Hip Hop finally did something right. For years now, we have been watching these has-been music stars try to earn some extra cash and grip on tight to the last bit of publicity they can get,   just to see the same ol' shit every time. So and so is sleeping with this girl's baby daddy, this dude is always in the studio, but never puts out an album, while this bum chick is trying to fight another bum chick over a worthless man. Drinks go flying, weaves get pulled, someone comes out with a lipstick line, and Mona wraps up the season finale with a professional spill that fails to mask how ratchet her show is.

For so long, Love and Hip Hop has been degrading the black community. They're making a mockery of hip hop, they're disrespecting our bodies, making fun of our refusal to commit to our significant others, and profiting on our pride, negligence, and lack of manners. But now, they're actually showing something worth watching. Miles and Milan are more than two gay men, with I'm sure their own ratchet drama, of course. They are one of the first homosexual couples that will get the opportunity to demonstrate the dynamics of a homosexual relationship on TV! This is a big freaking deal. Because guess what! That other underrepresented group that I mentioned earlier is….yep you guessed it….African Americans.

African Americans and homosexuals have yet to secure leading roles, consistent roles, and/or well-developed roles in American TV. Shows such as Scandal, How to Get Away with Murder, and Empire are opening doors for more shows to have a dominantly Black cast. But guess what, those shows just started airing, which means we're just now getting our foot in the door. So don't close it!!!! Two men kissing may not be as sexy as two lesbians kissing, but it has meaning.

Here's my point. Our lives are not being documented well, accurately, or in depth, if at all on television. If television is an institution that influences the way we think about the world, our absence on screen is confirmation that our bodies aren't worth being seen, heard, explored, or appreciated. In no way am I trying to equate Blackness to homosexuality or vice versa, but I do want to articulate that both communities are struggling to be valued. I also want to reiterate that these two communities are not binaries nor are the enemies, they do overlap. When you chant #blacklives matter, I need you to know that our straight black men are not the only ones being hated, harassed, gun downed, exterminated. Our black homosexual males are suffering too.

Love and Hip Hop does not provide the best representations of Black people, but it's representation nonetheless. Miles and Milan are a game changer for the show and for American TV. We are finally being seen, so watch.

Stop Blaming Me for Your Failures

A few months ago I was accepted to attend a partially-funded study abroad trip. Although it was my second time overseas I was ecstatic to be accepted on the trip. I had applied for the same trip the year before and was rejected. Devastated, but determined, I told myself not to give up. I reapplied the following fall semester, and heard the good news right before Christmas. I spent the whole spring semester, up until my departure in May, saving up for the trip. Unfortunately, attending the trip meant I would miss both my mother and my sister's birthday. But I couldn't pass up the trip, and of course they understood. I later spent a great deal of time searching for the perfect birthday presents for them lol.

About a week into a trip I received an email from one of my best friends. I was thrilled to have contact from back home. The first time I studied abroad I rarely had access to the internet. I felt alone and disconnected. As I read the email my excitement transitioned into disappointment, then confusion, then anger. As I contented to read, I learned that her "I miss having you as a friend" subject line meant that she had defriended and neglected to tell me or act like it. Her email explained that her "beef" with me was in my success and what she perceived as her failures She said she blamed me for having the life she wanted, for making it when she couldn't, for reaching all of my goals.

The irony in the situation lies in the setting. I was the one who had failed. I was reading this email from a gorgeous Moroccan-themed hotel room in Brussels, Belgium that I barely got to be in.  As I said, I was rejected from the trip the first time and I sacrificed priceless moments with my family to be in a foreign country with strangers. She, on the other hand, was writing this email from behind a desk at her well-paying job, that she received after we obtained our degrees, located a few minutes from her family. Maybe I did leave her behind. Perhaps I am to blame for her failure… But how, when the person on the other end of the email participated in my success as much as I contributed to hers. We worked on each other mentally, physically, and professionally. We studied together, we got honors together, we got degrees together. There was no way she was a failure, at least not to me.

For over four years we constructed a bond, a sisterhood. And here she was telling me she wanted our friendship back, I didn't even know we lost it. Her words upset me, not because I was naive enough to believe her insecurities were a result of my success, but because it wasn't the first time I've recieved this message.

I've been put down every time I came up. My whole life, I've been criticized for every opportunity I have accepted, because "I make it look too easy." Whether it is from my classmates, my friends, or my family I have been the object of negativity, jealousy, and hate. I imagine, I'm not the only one who has experienced this, which means the bigger picture is much more problematic then my little miserable email.

So what is it that makes a successful person the object of scrutiny? Why are we secretly hated instead of admired or praised?

I was told that if a friend turns into an enemy than they were never a friend. But I believe that if a friend ends up hating me, their problem isn't with me, their problem is that they never loved themselves. We live in a world where it's thought to be more productive to compete instead of collaborate. One should only compete when there's a threat, and one should only feel threatened when they are unsure of themselves. The insecurity in our community is at an all time high! And it will destroy us. We have to learn to  address our issues with one another. Envying our sisters and bothers  will only manifest into self-hate. We have enough people against us, we cannot afford to be out to get one another too.

The Value of My Brain is More Than that of My Body

I take every opportunity to advertise my brand "brains before beauty," but rarely ever do I get to elaborate on why I've adapted this lifestyle.

Since I was a child I have been complimented on my physical appearance. I've always been described as "adorable" or "a cutie." I remember overhearing people tell my parents "you're going to be in trouble with a daughter so pretty."Because I spent most of my life as a tomboy, I never knew what the big deal was. To me, I looked so much like my dad I may as well been a little boy. However, others made it a priority to stare at, point at, and talk about my features.  As I developed I went from being cute to "gorgeous," "sexy," "exotic." They envied my long, black, silky hair. They were afraid of my seductive, cat-like eyes. They loved my full lips that sometimes morphed into a joyous smile. They lusted over my long legs, thick thighs, and full breasts.

I, on the other hand, could careless. When I look in the mirror all I see is a big ass head, feigning for knowledge.

I appreciate the compliments. I am satisfied with my appearance. I am grateful for the skin I am in. But it is not to I that you owe the credit. With the help of God, my parents produced this beauty you see. I didn't do any work. I didn't put in any effort. 360 days out of the year I literally wake up like this. However, I did put in an a painstaking amount of work to continuously develop my brain. When people were telling me I would grow up to be a beautiful women, I was telling my mother I would grow up to be a professional student.

I spent most of my high school years fighting to be challenged. Every time I was kicked out of class I would be escorted out, begging the teacher to "just listen. I'm bored, that's all. Give me more work and I'll be good." I knew way to early that I was too smart. I therefore had to waste a lot of time trying to convince others that I was starving for knowledge, not attention. All I ever wanted was to learn. Due to my brain capacity I needed to learn more and more often than others to fully be satisfied. Hearing that from a child offended teachers.

The cycle repeated in college. It was so easy to maintain straight As and my position on the Dean's List, that I decided to apply myself outside of school as well. I started mentor programs, study sessions, joined clubs, worked out, and obtained a part-time job. I worked so diligently that I accidentally graduated early.

When I shared the news with my mother she was ecstatic. She asked what I would do next, I told her I would get another degree. School was the only thing that fulfilled me. She said "J.J., no one is going to keep paying for you to go to school." So when she received a letter from a private school explaining how they not only wanted to accept her daughter into their PhD program with only a BA, but they planned to fully fund her for five years, she said "you make your dreams come true fast, don't you."

For almost three years now I've been receiving straight As in graduate school, teaching college courses, tutoring middle schoolers, and spreading knowledge to anyone who will accept it. And all people have to say is, "you just keep getting prettier." All these years I've been indirectly begging people to look past my face and appreciate my brain. I've worked my butt off to market myself as an intelligent women, to compose 20 page papers, to be an invited speaker in multiple states, and to hold an intellectual conversation. So have one with me. Talk to me about something other than my looks, because that is the least I have to offer.

I place the value of my brain before my body because I myself have done the labor to construct it, therefore it is worth  more.

My beautiful body only serves as a vehicle to transport my brain, as it is precious cargo.

Fellas Just Get You a Shaniqua or a Jazmine, Either One is a Win: Light Skin vs. Dark Skin

I am so fed the F up with men saying they do not want to date dark skin girls because they beg too much, or they only want light skin girls because they are trophies.

Is you stoopid?

So let's set the record straight right now! There is a difference between dark skin women and light skin women, but it is the same difference between all women (OUR DAMN UPBRINGING JACKASS!)

Think about it logically. Most light skin girls are bi-racial, hints why their skin complexion is lighter. What does that mean? It means that our economical, cultural, and moral development is altered. And no that doesn't mean we are guaranteed to be privileged.

My mother is white and my father is black, which greatly changed my economic situation. Contrary to popular belief, my white mother did not come from money. But yes, my black daddy did come from the projects. Because my mother was disowned for dating my father they had no choice but to step up and take care of each other. Because they came from nothing, experienced intense racism, and had to fight to be together they insured that their children would not go through the same thing. Throughout my childhood both my mother and my father took turns working two jobs at a time so we wouldn't have to struggle. At one point my father had three jobs and my mother had two. As a result, I grew up to be hardworking and financially responsible. Watching my parent's experience taught me not to look for a handout because there will be no one there to hand it to you.

As a result, no I don't depend on a man, no I don't beg, and no I won't ask a man for anything.

My parent's intense drive also awarded me other luxuries. I learned to be loyal. My parents never had anyone to lean on, all they had was each other. Therefore, they forced my sister and I only to rely on each other. For that the four of us are indebted to each other. We are loyal to each other, and the select few we allow in our circle.

The mixture of my parents features blessed me with beautify. A very exotic beauty at that. But because my parents have substance and sense, they raised me to rely on my mind, rather than my body. For that reason I was highly encouraged to pursue my education, which I did. So yes, I can articulate myself better than other females. But it is not because light skins don't like to trip or argue. It's because I was afforded the luxury to receive training on how to speak my mind in a rational manner. Which also makes me more self-confident. I won't question you, I won't stalk you, and I won't chase you. It's not because light skins are more controllable, it's because I have more to offer and I can find someone else.

I was also exposed to difference. Different cities, people, opinions, lifestyles. My parents taught my sister and I not to judge; to accept people the way they wanted to be accepted. So yes, you have to work harder to impress me. It is not because I am stuck up, it's because I have been outside of my city, state, and country. I came from something and will never settle for nothing.

Because of racial discrimination, classism, sexism, and the fucked up society we live in, black girls don't always get this same experience. They don't come from the same background, they weren't raised the same, their parents may not have the same at stake. But they, themselves as women with dark skin have more to lose. Some dark skin women don't have the luxury to just live, they have to survive.

But don't you ever think that gives you the right to turn us against each other.

These stereotypes are not truth. They should not be a reflection of a race. And they damn sure shouldn't be a division between women.

My cousin is a black girl. She is accomplished, brilliant, confident, and flawlessly beautiful. Our upbringing was different, but our current goals, demeanor, and character are the same. I assure you she will never beg a man for anything. She's a nurse, a student, a mother, and an independent woman. She wants for nothing, because she awards herself with everything. She can have an intellectual conversation with you or she can beat your ass! And it's not because she's black and ghetto. It's because she has an amazing father who taught her how to handle herself (yes, the black girl has a daddy). It's because she has a mother who served as a role model for how a woman should take care her business. It's because she knows she deserves the best and won't settle for anything less than perfection, because that's what she is.

I know some mixed girls that have zero self confidence, and will sell their body to buy a fake Michael Kors bag. I know black girls who are pursuing their law degree and have never stepped foot in the hood a day in their life. The point is you should get to know the woman's background, before you judge her by her skin tone.

OK!

Now cut the shit with this light skin vs. dark skin and get on this Shaniqua or Jazmine because either one is a win!

A Bad Bitch is A Man's Best Friend

So it looks as if we still haven't made it past the "bad bitch" phase. We evolved from "bitch," to the "baddest bitch," to "bad bitches I'm yah leader."

For some women the term "bitch" should never be used. For others, it's the worse name you can be referred to--if it's coming from a male, or an enemy. But if it's coming from your female friend or your gay, male friend then it is a term of endearment. And then there are those women who refer to themselves as bitches, as a form of empowerment.

Truth is, at some point every woman--no matter how prim and proper--has aspired to be a bad bitch. We have to admit, the term is catchy. It is also engrained in us. But we must also not forget it is degrading.
So what is a bad bitch?

According to Urban Dictionary, the only dictionary that would even take time defining this term, there are a couple of definitions. I'll save you the headache and only share the entires that appear to be submitted by people who have actually been exposed to an education.

1) "A self respected, strong female who has everything together. That consists of body, mind, finances, and swagger. Also, a female who does & gets hers by any means necessary."

2) "A woman who is attempting to reclaim the usage of the word bitch by erasing it's previously understood derogatory connotation and replacing it with a celebration of strength. This re-definition, however, overlooks the historically entrenched and problematic discourse surrounding gender relationships."

3) "Female who knows what she wants and knows exactly how to get it.Female who is always ready for anything physically, emotionally, and also intellectually(one being book smart as well as street smart). One who is classy and all about business. Last, but certainly not least, one who knows how to take care of her man at home and in the streets and remains loyal to him(her man), herself, and the game at which she plays."

Ok, let's have at it. Entry #1, what self-respecting, strong female calls herself a bitch? If she handles her business by any means why not just refer to her as a hustler or an independent woman?

Entry #2 is right in regards to our success in overlooking the true meaning of the term and the damage it  has caused throughout our history. Instead of reclaiming a word that was never ours, we should stop using it. Most importantly we should stop answering to it because it is not who we are, and it is not a representation of who we are striving to be.

I'll get to entry #3 later.

Basically, a bad bitch is a woman who takes care of her responsibilities. Well in that case, just refer to yourself by your name since you are fulfilling your duties as an american citizen. Why should you get a special title for doing your job?

One factor distinguishing a bad bitch from an independent woman is her demand within a group of men. Men rather have a bad bitch than an independent woman. This is not a universal truth, however, it is a truth supported, and highly advertised, in popular culture. As entry #3 says, a bad bitch is "one who knows how to take care of her man at home and in the streets and remains loyal to him."

On the contrary, an independent woman prioritizes her career, education, kids, etc. over men. She comes first, not him. In our society, this is problematic. Although many women have worked hard to reclaim the term bitch in attempts to alter it's meaning, they have yet to succeed because our society has not updated it's agenda. We've had many women's rights movements, multiple waves of feminists, and a satisfying amount of women step into positions of power.  But the fact of the matter remains, women still come second to men. We are still payed less, respected less, and valued less. Except for our body, our body is highly valued.

However, our knowledge of this unequal treatment and our rise against it serves as a threat.

I have read scholarship and have personally been told that a man does not want a woman who does not make him feel needed. Therefore, men rather have a bad, obedient bitch than a strong, equality-seeking woman. And what are bitches? female dogs. What are dogs? Man's best friend? And what are women supposed to be? A man's finest accessory.

My point is, this is still a male-dominated society. This is still a place where you need to be tamed by a male or you're seen as a problem. More women are shifting to becoming independent, which causes distortion in our antique method of doing things. The more women fight to gain power, the harder society fights to regain order. As a solution, we give rise to the bad bitches. A bad bitch is a creation that gives women the impression that they are independent, while subconsciously re-sizing them back for their inferior position below men. Conforming to being a bad bitch allows men to reclaim ownership over women, once again.

Instead of being a bad bitch, just be bad at being a bitch because you never really know whose bitch you are anyway.

Who Puts The "Role" in Role Model?

 In order to expose my students to current issues regarding the female gender, I showed the documentary Miss Representation. The film does an amazing job of exploring the various ways the media objectifies females, and it offers a space to listen to multiple perspectives of this misrepresentation. Although their male counterparts were interviewed too, female voices dominated the documentary. One way the film empowers women is by asking women what they think about their current representation, as well as how they actually want to be represented. More significantly, the film speaks to and about all women--black,white, asian, lesbian, transgender, higher class, lower class, etc. In doing so, the film acknowledges that all women want to be treated equally, however, there are some intersectionalities that cause some women to face even more obstacles when pursuing equality. The film, in my opinion, did an excellent job of providing women with an available means to speak up and out for themselves--an opportunity we rarely come by. However, there was one shortcoming.

The predicted, and much needed, conversation on role models gave light to just how problematic our similar differences can be. 

From a very young age we are taught to look up to other people. We are trained to adopt a person of interest and follow in their footsteps. It is not that we are discouraged from being the first, but having a role model does make the journey a lot easier. The interviewed women of Miss Representation advised younger girls that yes, they should have a role model, but not to limit themselves to a role model that looked like them. I immediately accepted this as promising advice. If we waited for a role model to look like us we wouldn't accomplish anything. In order to get to where we want to go, both men and women, we have to diversify our options. Not too often are the "first ones" women or people of color, but there are a few; which means they looked up to someone who had the position they wanted, not the same face as them.  For example, there has yet to be a female president, but that does't mean a woman shouldn't strive to be president. 

As the discussion on role models continued to develop, my optimism faded. The women went on to give examples of who their role models were. I didn't recognize some of the names, but the pictures flashing in the background provided me with some familiarity. All of their role models looked just like them. The Asian women listed other Asian women they looked up to, the blacks listed blacks, and the whites listed whites. Some women looked up to males too, which reenforces the point that our role models don't have to look like us. But this isn't what I had in mind. I was under the impression that we were finally stepping outside of our comfort zone, breaking through economic class barriers, and making shifts across the color spectrum to find role models, not another reflective models. When I say reflective model, I am referring to a person that physically looks like us, rather than someone who has the same goals as us. In following someone just because they who physically resemble us we limit ourselves to being only like them. This isn't always a role model, we don't want their role, we just limit ourselves to their role because it looks manageable. 

So ask yourself, do you have a role model or a reflective model? 

I have a role model, however, I didn't realize it because I was so busy looking for a reflective model. I've overlooked my white, male role model for some time now, in search of a strong, colored female. I didn't think having a role model who looked different from me could actually be a model for me. And here's why.

I am a 24 year old, bi-racial female who is currently a student and an instructor at a predominantly white, private university. To make matters more intense I have future plans to teach either in a prison or in a university on the subject of prisons. My goal as of right now is to inform my students of problems regarding race, class, and gender. Teaching in the midst of a war against police brutality and hints at another civil rights movement, I find it imperative that these issues be brought into our classroom. But as I stand up and stand out in front them I can't help but realize that these are issues of my society, not theirs. I ask myself, how do I talk to these strangers about topics they could careless about? I ask my professors, who will teach me how to deal with the tension of exposing higher class students to meager, lower class problems? Who will be my role model? Where is she?

I find comfort in hoping that there is someone out there just like me, who can provide me with the ideal blueprint. We tend to think only people like us know what we are going through. That only people like us can help us. I must admit, when you're the only different one in the room you begin to question yourself; no matter how deserving you are of the position. Being alone is hard and it sucks, but it must be done. 

In searching for this imaginary, female heroine I limited myself in two ways. First, I neglected to acknowledge that although my mentor of four years is a white male, he comes from a community more diverse and lower class than mine. He also wasn't as privileged as me. Before his PhD was just a mere GED. This is the role model I've been looking for, I was just blinded by his differences. Although, we are not exactly the same, his path and his destination are similar to mine. Therefore, he is the definition of a role model. 

And second, by foraging for this perfect role model I ruled out the possibility that I may be the person I am searching for. As I said earlier, if we waited for a role model that looked like us we wouldn't accomplish anything. I could have accomplished much more if I had stopped looking for her, and looked to myself. 

My point is yes, it is comforting to have a role model that looks like you, but it could be limiting. Find your role model based on their actual role. Their role in the professional world and their role in your life. 

Most importantly, don't be afraid to be that role model you are looking for. You never know who else is looking for you.