Who Puts The "Role" in Role Model?

 In order to expose my students to current issues regarding the female gender, I showed the documentary Miss Representation. The film does an amazing job of exploring the various ways the media objectifies females, and it offers a space to listen to multiple perspectives of this misrepresentation. Although their male counterparts were interviewed too, female voices dominated the documentary. One way the film empowers women is by asking women what they think about their current representation, as well as how they actually want to be represented. More significantly, the film speaks to and about all women--black,white, asian, lesbian, transgender, higher class, lower class, etc. In doing so, the film acknowledges that all women want to be treated equally, however, there are some intersectionalities that cause some women to face even more obstacles when pursuing equality. The film, in my opinion, did an excellent job of providing women with an available means to speak up and out for themselves--an opportunity we rarely come by. However, there was one shortcoming.

The predicted, and much needed, conversation on role models gave light to just how problematic our similar differences can be. 

From a very young age we are taught to look up to other people. We are trained to adopt a person of interest and follow in their footsteps. It is not that we are discouraged from being the first, but having a role model does make the journey a lot easier. The interviewed women of Miss Representation advised younger girls that yes, they should have a role model, but not to limit themselves to a role model that looked like them. I immediately accepted this as promising advice. If we waited for a role model to look like us we wouldn't accomplish anything. In order to get to where we want to go, both men and women, we have to diversify our options. Not too often are the "first ones" women or people of color, but there are a few; which means they looked up to someone who had the position they wanted, not the same face as them.  For example, there has yet to be a female president, but that does't mean a woman shouldn't strive to be president. 

As the discussion on role models continued to develop, my optimism faded. The women went on to give examples of who their role models were. I didn't recognize some of the names, but the pictures flashing in the background provided me with some familiarity. All of their role models looked just like them. The Asian women listed other Asian women they looked up to, the blacks listed blacks, and the whites listed whites. Some women looked up to males too, which reenforces the point that our role models don't have to look like us. But this isn't what I had in mind. I was under the impression that we were finally stepping outside of our comfort zone, breaking through economic class barriers, and making shifts across the color spectrum to find role models, not another reflective models. When I say reflective model, I am referring to a person that physically looks like us, rather than someone who has the same goals as us. In following someone just because they who physically resemble us we limit ourselves to being only like them. This isn't always a role model, we don't want their role, we just limit ourselves to their role because it looks manageable. 

So ask yourself, do you have a role model or a reflective model? 

I have a role model, however, I didn't realize it because I was so busy looking for a reflective model. I've overlooked my white, male role model for some time now, in search of a strong, colored female. I didn't think having a role model who looked different from me could actually be a model for me. And here's why.

I am a 24 year old, bi-racial female who is currently a student and an instructor at a predominantly white, private university. To make matters more intense I have future plans to teach either in a prison or in a university on the subject of prisons. My goal as of right now is to inform my students of problems regarding race, class, and gender. Teaching in the midst of a war against police brutality and hints at another civil rights movement, I find it imperative that these issues be brought into our classroom. But as I stand up and stand out in front them I can't help but realize that these are issues of my society, not theirs. I ask myself, how do I talk to these strangers about topics they could careless about? I ask my professors, who will teach me how to deal with the tension of exposing higher class students to meager, lower class problems? Who will be my role model? Where is she?

I find comfort in hoping that there is someone out there just like me, who can provide me with the ideal blueprint. We tend to think only people like us know what we are going through. That only people like us can help us. I must admit, when you're the only different one in the room you begin to question yourself; no matter how deserving you are of the position. Being alone is hard and it sucks, but it must be done. 

In searching for this imaginary, female heroine I limited myself in two ways. First, I neglected to acknowledge that although my mentor of four years is a white male, he comes from a community more diverse and lower class than mine. He also wasn't as privileged as me. Before his PhD was just a mere GED. This is the role model I've been looking for, I was just blinded by his differences. Although, we are not exactly the same, his path and his destination are similar to mine. Therefore, he is the definition of a role model. 

And second, by foraging for this perfect role model I ruled out the possibility that I may be the person I am searching for. As I said earlier, if we waited for a role model that looked like us we wouldn't accomplish anything. I could have accomplished much more if I had stopped looking for her, and looked to myself. 

My point is yes, it is comforting to have a role model that looks like you, but it could be limiting. Find your role model based on their actual role. Their role in the professional world and their role in your life. 

Most importantly, don't be afraid to be that role model you are looking for. You never know who else is looking for you.